Thursday, July 2, 2009

What's wrong with being just a wife and mother?

I have heard so many negative things lately about the roles of wife and motherhood.

"It's boring.... I'm not making any real contribution to society.... There's more to life than being a mother.... I've lost myself and don't even have my own identity anymore," et al.

Assuming that some of my readers are hearing the same voices, I just wanted to encourage you all, especially you stay-at-home mothers, myself included, with some Truth! Yes, this is a pep-talk for me, too.

First of all, our biggest problem is allowing those negative attitudes to infiltrate our minds and affect our own outlook. Boredom is a state of mind, and if a woman sits at home dreaming about being "on the outside" or fantasizing about being someone else's wife, guess what? She is going to get bored with reality, become discontent with her life, and start wishing for a way out. Next step after that is looking for a way out, and Satan will be right there with an opportunity! The best ways to avoid boredom is 1) choose to like what you are called to do, and 2) don't settle for "good enough". Work at making your home your dream-home, and I'm not just talking about the house!

Being a good godly wife and mother is the highest fulfillment of God's purpose that a married woman can attain! Anyone who doesn't believe me needs to refer to the principle of First Mention and go back to the book of Genesis. When asking the question, "Am I really doing anything worthwhile?" one should also ask, "Am I fulfilling God's purpose for me?" In order to answer that one, we need to determine what we were created for, and the answers are found in Genesis.

God said that it was not good for man to be alone, and decided then and there to create a helper suited to the man's needs. (Genesis 2:18-25) She was to be his partner, his intimate friend, companion, co-laborer, helper, lover, and sharer in the joys and sorrows of life! This was Eve's God-ordained purpose in life, and so it is ours as well. This is what we were created for, and to "lose" ourselves in this purpose is not loss at all! Rather, it is to "find" ourselves in God's will, to experience all the joys of being in His favor, and experience true fulfillment.

Being wife and mother are full-time occupations. Do not allow anyone to belittle your high calling, making you think there are bigger and better things that you should give your attention to. We cannot rise above what God has called us to do. There is no better thing to devote ourselves to than to what He has created us to be!

So take courage, ladies, and block those negative voices from your minds and hearts. They are a tool of the devil to discourage you and distract you from your holy purpose. Take up the distaff with a firm hand, and rejoice in the task God has given you. It's a holy work we can do in Jesus' name!

A final word...

"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside after Satan." I Timothy 5:14,15

"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4,5

~WHEW!~ I needed that...


Sonya said...

Hi Tammy - Thank you for this post. I wanted to write and say that I totally agree. I may be coming from a slightly different background from other readers, so I especially wanted to write in. I have an MBA from a top business school and I worked for three fortune 500 companies before staying at home full time. For those that are wondering which has the greater satisfaction, a feeling of purpose, and has created happiness in our home, staying at home full time wins hands down. For someone who has been there, the grass is definitely not greener - what could be more satisfying than being in Gods will, supporting our husbands and training the next generation? Working long hours in an office in front of a computer to further the usually greedy owners of a corporation doesn't even come close!

HsKubes said...

Amen! What a blessing.
Thank you for the encouragement!

~ Christina

Serene in Singapore said...

Amen, sister! Say it like it is! :)

Tammy said...

Sonya, I truly appreciate your point of view. Thanks for commenting!

Thanks, Christina and Serene. Glad to be an encouragement. This is not a popular, politically-correct view, but I guess the Biblical standpoint never has been popular or politically correct!

God bless all you ladies as you serve the Lord in your homes. :o)

Tammy said...

Well said Tammy! If more women would realize why they were made and to what their purpose is, there would be much more joy in the world. Realizing that I am serving God by serving my family, even on days when I am feeling unappreciated, has been absolutely inspritational for me. I learned this because God has kept me from obtaining a job for a year now (even at McDonald's!) even tho I believe it would help Bob greatly to lift the financial burdens at our house. I just throw up my hands and trust Him, (that's all I can do) but I can do all I can around the house to make it a refuge from the world and to help at church anywhere I can. Being my husband's helper (in anyway I can) IS my purpose!
Sonya, I wish your testimony could be read by all and realized by all! Thank you for your input!

Momma Jo said...

What an excellent post! So true.
You have such a lovely blog.
So, I wanted you to know I gladly honored your blog with the "One Lovely Blog" award this week. Go to my blog to see the post:
Blessings to you!

Momma Jo

Tammy said...

That's what it comes down to, Tammy. Just trusting the Lord!

I don't think we women always realize just how valuable a peaceful, well-guided household is to the family. More valuable than an extra paycheck, no matter how tight the finances are. :o)

Tammy said...

Thank you, Momma Jo! And thanks for the blog award. How sweet! :o) I'll stop by your blog this evening.

Rose said...

Wonderful post! Unfortunatly in today's society there are husbands who do not encourage their wives to stay home~they want them to go out and work and make money. I do not agree with this at all. The wives get so down on themselves and feel like they are not contributing anything to the household which is totally untrue. It is so important to have support from our husbands. God bless, Rose

Elizabeth said...

I've been out of pocket for what seems like forever and I'm just getting around to really reading this post.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

I can count the true keepers at home that are parts of my life on one hand. It can be easy to let the flesh and the devil get you down and discouraged. Thank God for a Bible that teaches us right and wrong.

After feeling particularly bombarded by this subject a couple of months ago, I started a personal study. Not that I questioned my role as a keeper at home, just seeking encouragement from the Lord. Well, the Lord put it to me to make it a post on my blog. Not long after I posted it, I read this post you made! What an encouragement.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tammy,
I've been meaning to write you a note to tell you how much I have enjoyed reading your site. I actually saw you first on Headcovering Baptists site, and enjoyed your comments there. So when I saw your site here I thought I would stop and say Hello from Colorado. I am a pastors wife, we are "independent and fundamental, and old-fashioned"! I want you to know that I've been praying for you and your family as you work on your mission field. I appreciate those who surrender to the foreign fields, I have a lot of friends who are missionary wives and I know it takes someone special. So thank you.
Your friend, Johanna

Tammy said...

Rose, the sad truth is that these men have been raised in the same feminist society that we have, and have bought the lies, too. Some of us are blessed with a supportive husband, and some are not, but ALL of us can do our best to be supportive wives, and then trust the Lord to work in the hubby's heart.

Thanks for your comment! :o)

Tammy said...

Elizabeth, I'm not happy that you got discouraged, but I am happy that I'm not the only one that happens to! ;o) We can encourage each other, then. <3

Tammy said...

Thank you, Johanna! You sound like somebody I'd like to get to know better. :o)

Anonymous said...

I am realizing that this is what I need to do as well....oh, I can't wait for the time that I am able to do this! Right now I teach at a university, and really feel that I can't let my colleagues down with the extra work that they would have if I left...our family also has too many debts due to school and I need to work to help pay them...but I am trying to be extra thrifty, to save to pay off loans, and to save additional money so that some day in the near future I will be able to stay at home too and be with my children (just have 1 right now). I think many people would say that we could make it work even with all our debt, so I feel guilty...but I will work to make it happen for me. Thank you for your post!

Jennifer said...

Well that stepped on my toes!!

THANKS I'm going to go read it again!!


Timmy's Girl @ Luv My Quiver Full Of Arrows said...

Whew... I needed that, too!

Now, I better go humble myself and apologize to my husband for waking up on the wrong side of the bed. I love how God directed me to your blog, to read this post, at this very moment. He is such a loving God.

God bless you!
xoxo, Veronica in CA

Anonymous said...

You are truly a follow of the Lord, I was depply impressed. I have been a stay at home father for the last year due to the economy. Fortunately my wife did not loose her job like I did. However I had a more important job to fulfill. I have 3 little ones that needed my attention. This was a fantastic year and I was moved toward my children like no other year. I believe in your words and will keep them close to my heart. God Bless you and your family Tammy.

mary grace said...

Love this post. Thanks for sharing your heart--and GOD'S!!!

Kimberly said...

What a great post!